I stared at 150 chairs, every one of them so loose as to be dangerous to sit in. “I have tried everything to no avail,” the owner said. “Do you know the glue they advertise on TV where one drop between two blocks of wood holds a car suspended in the air?” he asked me in exasperation. “Well I must have used half a pint on each chair, and they still came apart.”

I nodded.

“I’ll admit you cabinetmakers have some secrets. Will you fix the chairs for me?”

I said no, explaining that the chairs were made out of the wrong kind of wood and that they would never hold together for any length of time. He stalked off, obviously convinced I was out of my mind.

The preceding is a true account of a conversation between myself and the owner of a large, beautiful restaurant located on the…